Landing Page Reviews: Critique of A “Travel Hacking” Squeeze Page

Note: This is the first of series of landing page critiques that I’ll be doing over the new few months.  All landing pages reviewed in this series were created with the LeadPages landing page software.  In this video, I critique a travel advice landing page (created by a travel hacker).

I’m going to be just critiquing people’s landing pages and answering questions if any exist. So this is an experimental thing. This was actually just something that I decided to do this morning to support our software and to get a better sense of how folks are using it.

Alright, let’s look at this page. So the copy is Learn How I Booked a Flight From Rwanda With a Two-Week Stopover In Norway For Less Than $200. Get Your Free Guide To Uncommon Frequent Flyer Strategies. Alright, so the biggest obstacle that you’re going up against here is with anything like this that people think they know what’s going on, right? A mistake often, when you’re selling results, is that a lot of people think they know what the strategy is, and when they know what the strategy is, they’re no longer interested because they’ve heard of that strategy before. So for example, if you were selling a diet course, and in your opt-in page, I wouldn’t recommend at all that you mention low-carb diet because everyone’s heard low-carb diet, low-carb diet, low-carb diet. They’ve heard of that Atkins, and you might have some special twist on it. There might be something really interesting that’s going on, but once you say low-carb diet, people think they know what it is, and then they don’t opt-in, and when I was reading this, I was like oh, he’s just going to tell me use frequent flyer miles. So that’s what would keep me from opting in is the whole frequent flyer miles thing, right, because obviously, you can book a really expensive trip for free or a low amount of money if you’ve got some frequent flyers miles set up.

So I wouldn’t talk about frequent fire strategies. In fact, I would really emphasize here that people don’t know what it is. I mean you want to create mystery, right, because once you say frequent flyer strategies people like, oh I get it, you just use that. So how might I do something like this? Let’s word craft this. So Rwanda is good because it’s specific and specific always brings stuff to life, but you’ve got a limited amount of room for copy on this page, so I’m just going to assume you got there from United States, right, because if you’re already in like a country near you Rwanda, or you were like in the country of Rwanda already, and you’re just going from one part to another, then like maybe $200 is reasonable. So I would say rather than talk about the stop in Norway, I would talk about like where you’d started from and where you went. And in terms of your destination, I would ask if you actually went to a destination that’s maybe a little bit more desirable to people than a post-genocide country that most people don’t even know where it is, like I think most people kind of know that basically, it’s in Africa, but they don’t really know exactly where it is so I might say the British Virgin Islands or maybe Europe or – I don’t know what the hot country is right now, but I’m sure that if you ask your target market what country they want to get like their top 5 favorite countries to go to, there’d be some sort of consensus, right? There be like one or two countries that pop up a lot. Let’s just say Florence, right. Let’s just pick some country you know. I’m not saying you should write something that isn’t true, but if you’ve used this strategy to go to Florence, then I would say Florence. I would pick some country that is – And it doesn’t necessarily need to be Florence, but some country that is extremely representative of, sort of where your target market wants to go so it’s like appealing to them because I can guarantee you like most people will probably pay money like not to have to go to Rwanda even though it’s a perfectly fine country now.

So Learn How I Booked a 6,000-mile Flight From New York To Florence For Less Than $200, right, so if it’s less than $200, I would actually just say what it is, right, especially if there’s cents involved, right, because the more detailed the number the better, so if you’re like 178 and 29 cents, something like that, these kind of like details really help out, so Learn How To Book a 6,000-mile Flight, it’s probably a lot more than that. Maybe it’s like 12,000, right. You’re going across the Atlantic. And then always put in details here, you know, whatever it is; mile flight from New York to Florence for less than, you know, what it is using an underground ticket buying strategy that, you know, maybe 98% of people have never heard of or like using a ticket buying strategy that you’ve never heard of.

If you are going to mention frequent flyer miles, say something like hint, this isn’t your run-of-the-mill frequent flyer strategy, right, but if you aren’t going to mention frequent flyer miles, which I recommend that you not, I might say hint, you’ve never heard of this tactic, right, because you know, the large majority of people have never even heard of like this specific underground strategy that you’re using, then I’d say something like this. The purpose here is to build tension. Okay, so everyone listening. Please pay attention here. The purpose of this text is to build tension, desire-based tension, that is only relieved when they opt in.

So the purpose of marketing is to build tension that is relieved when someone takes the conversion action. So when you just say hey, it’s a frequent flyer mile thing that relieves tension because people don’t want to know anymore because they think they know what it is when they don’t, so yeah, that’s what I would do here is I would go with something like this.

Let’s go back to the page. I think that if you’re appealing to the back packer community, then this image is fine. I don’t know. The people go rock climbing in Rwanda, you know. I will just make sure everything is in alignment. I think there might be some other templates in here inside of LeadPages that might serve you better. Let’s go find the template that, you know, that I think is going to maybe be better for you. So I kind of like this one. This one is good for kind of explaining tactics or strategies because, you know, you can have a little mind map here and the text could be about getting your strategy for getting a cheap ticket. There’s also like this James Schramko thing. This doesn’t necessarily have to be for a webinar. You know, you don’t have to make it for a webinar. You could be like ticket buying strategy. This could be your face. This is another thing you could do for this, so I don’t necessarily, think that the one you picked is probably the best if there’s like some tactics or some strategy or some like trick, then something where there’s a mind map that they see, but they don’t know what it is yet until they opt-in, right, like you can kind of there’s all these things here, and it’s kind of frustrating because you can see that there’s something in this mind map, but you don’t know exactly what it’s saying, and that kind of curiosity again builds tension that is relieved when someone opts in.

[0:06:33] End of Audio

  • P.S. Yes, I know Florence isn’t a country :-). Slip of the tongue.

  • cornell green

    Another helpful video. Thanks for everything you do Clay, keep them coming. Love it…

  • People really get stuck on writing these headlines, great dive into the psychology Clay

    • Thanks, Michael. Yeah, sometimes it takes a lot of thinking to even write a sentence or two of copy.

  • Great way to start weekend. Getting into the psychology of the consumer is an excellent approach.

    • Mike! I love that you think this is a good way to start the weekend :-). This place is filled with marketing nerds.

  • You can pick a fight with my squeeze page anytime! 😉

  • Clay –

    This was so helpful -thank you for doing this!
    Your editing tips were a huge eye opener for me on how to really write these.

    Thank you also for the tip on ‘the purpose of mktg’. I have known what it is for a while, and I know you have said it endlessly, but when you say it this specific way, just a good reminder.

    Overally – glad you decide to wing this and do it! Please keep on!

    Jaxi 🙂

    ps: good one ‘most people would pay NOT to go to Rwanda 🙂

    • Thanks! I think we are going to continue doing these.

  • dkotecki

    You give some of the best marketing advice I read on the net 🙂

  • Thanks Clay. Great mini webinar. Learned a lot.

  • Joe Large

    Nice work Clay, appreciate you letting us see the process, thanks a lot.

  • Ok Clay, I’ll bite (or maybe you will). Check out my landing page which offers a sneak-peak at my new book and online program, and offers some bonuses to those on my VIP list: And make sure you also check out the thank-you page after opt-in.

  • Erik

    lets say im selling a product about getting cheap airfare with frequent flyer miles (which i assume this guy is doing). Why would i want a bunch of people to opt in who are NOT interested in Frequent flyer hacking. Doesn’t it narrow your list to people in your target group by being specific?

    • What hurts you is selling the methods, not the outcomes. There are a lot of people out there who want cheap airfare who have written off frequent flyer hacking as ineffective (or who haven’t even heard of frequent flyer hacking). At the beginning you shouldn’t speak to the methods… only to the outcome that they’re looking for.