Why Some Of Your Biggest Fans Won’t Buy From You

Hello, everyone. Welcome to this episode of the marketing show. I am Clay Collins. And today, we’re going to be talking about the kiss-of-death phrase to your sales, all right? So, the kiss-of-death phrase to your sales is when you get an email, or a blog comment, or a tweet, or something from a perspective customer that says something to the effect of, “I’m going to the same thing right now. I can totally relate with you,” right? “We’re basically the same person.”

So, a lot of times, people blog about things or they write about things in their newsletters that creates a personal connection. And then the person reading it, someone reading it, a prospective customer reads that and says, “Wow, we are so on the same wavelength. I can really feel you. I’m at the same place myself in my business, or with regards to my health, or my finances,” or this, you know, this – whatever – whatever market you’re in, they really feel like you’re basically at the same point that they’re at. And when they feel that, you better, like, you better say goodbye to any money that they will ever give you as a customer. And if they’re writing it, chances are a lot of people are thinking it, but aren’t writing it. And here’s the reason why.

People don’t want to buy from themselves. People want to buy from the 2.0 version of themselves. People don’t want to buy from people with their problems. They want to buy from people who have overcome their problems, right?

So, again, people don’t buy from themselves. Most people inherently have a low self esteem. And what happens is when people are saying to you, in essence, “You’re basically the same person as me. I can so feel where you’re at. This thing you’re struggling with, I’m struggling with it too.” They’re basically putting you in the friend zone. And I think, you know, I can relate to this, a lot of guys can relate to this. When you’re in high school and maybe there’s that cheerleader that you really like, that hot girl that you really like, and she talks to you all the time about her asshole boyfriend who’s really horrible to her. And you really like her and she’s telling you about the problems that she has with guys and asking you for opinions and you become like her counselor. And, oh, she feels so close to you, but like, there’s no chance in hell that if you ever ask her out on a date, she would say, yes. And in fact, if you ask her out, she might say, “Oh, we’re friends, you know. We can’t do that.”

So, people who say things like, you know, “Oh, I can totally understand where you are, like, I really – I’m in the same place myself,” these are people who you will usually find out later on are going to ask you for advice about what products to buy in your market. They don’t want to buy your product. They’re asking you for advice about what other products to buy, not yours. So, you are so hosed when you hear this.

So, how do you get over this? Well, you get over this by not talking about the problems you’re currently having, right? A lot of times, people will share damaging admissions or things that they’re going through as a way to create bonding and to open up to their customer base. And that’s fine, but you want to talk about damaging admissions in your past. If you had a real problem with alcoholism and you almost lost your business as a result of it, don’t talk about it when it’s happening. Talk about it when it happened in the past and talk about how you overcame it, right. If you have a mother with Alzheimer’s, right, and you’re in the Alzheimer’s market where you give advice on that topic and how to be a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s, then talk about how you struggled with a parent in the past and how you overcame it, right, because people want to buy from the actualized versions of themselves.

So, when you make damaging admissions, when you talk about things that you overcame, make them things that you overcame in the past, not things you’re struggling with right now. So, I – I just would encourage you not to publicly air those things because you’re going to create this, you know, friend zone affect where people basically feel like they’re you and then they’re never going to buy from you ever, ever, ever, ever again. And maybe once awhile, once a blue moon, they will. But chances of that are pretty well.

So, just to wrap this up, you know, if you hear a phrase like that, you’re, you know, saying goodbye to that customer. You know, it’s kind of like Humphrey Bogart, at the end of Casablanca, and here’s looking at you, kid, you know, you’re never going to see him again. And when you talk about damaging admissions, when you reveal struggles that you’ve had, talk about the ones that happened in the past. Don’t talk about what you’re currently struggling with, with regards to your market and what you’re going through.

Anyway, that wraps is up for this episode of the marketing show. I’m Clay Collins. I’m so glad you’re here. And we’ll speak soon. Take care.