[Podcast] Make the Connections with Cheryl Muir

Cheryl Muir - Releationship Pattern Interrupter
 

The Lead Generation features conversations with today’s entrepreneurs willing to tell the truth about what it takes to be your own boss and the transformative impact you can have on your audience.

In this episode, we’re bringing you Cheryl Muir, a relationship pattern interrupter who helps frustrated women gain power over the dating drama that consumes them.

Each week, Cheryl delivers “Love Bites” videos to her community at CherylMuir.com, where she provides programs and private coaching to women ready for an empowered relationship.

In this episode, Cheryl shares her journey from corporate public relations to becoming a relationship whisperer, the tools she uses to market her coaching business, and a mindset shift to pricing your programs and services at a higher rate.

Transcripts, resources, and top-takeaways are below.

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Top Takeaways

If you’re short on time, here are a few golden nuggets from our conversation and the resources mentioned.

  1. Know your worth. Know the value of what you bring to the table, both in terms of the experience you bring to the table and the results you’re helping your clients achieve.
  2. Reach out and connect with someone. When it comes to increasing your exposure, pitch to as many people as possible through their online contact information and social networks.
  3. Put in the work. You’ve got to work hard. You’ve got to be really focused and aligned to your why.
  4. Hustle with boundaries. To be fully present in your work with clients, create routines that allow you to turn off work-mode so you can recharge.
  5. Turn up awareness. Read books, listen to podcasts, and take on experiences that help you tune in to what matters most to you.

Resources Mentioned

Continue the Conversation

After enjoying this episode, what are your top takeaways from Cheryl?

And what’s one lesson you learned in this episode that you’ll take action on over the next week?

Get to know Cheryl

Bob: Cheryl, thank you so much for joining me for this episode of The Lead Generation.

Cheryl: Thank you so much for having me. I’m really excited to be here. Thank you.

Bob: And before we get started, I would love to know what is the impact that you have on your clients through the work that you do.

Cheryl: My work is really around relationships. It’s around transforming people’s lives within the container of relationships. I think we can all agree that dating, love, relationships, it all brings up all of our stuff no matter where we are on our journey. Whether we’ve done a lot of personal development or not. Relationships they show as well we’ve got work to do. And so, my work is really coaching women through that. So, I help to see where their triggers and help them to really gain power over their dating drama so that it they can be the woman that they came here to be.

Bob: I love that. So, if they run into some kind of an issue or challenge, they get to call you or connect with you, and you’re able to bring them to that other side for that relationship to either really flower, or perhaps make a different choice.

Cheryl: Yeah, absolutely. Either the relationship flourishes or the relationship falls away. But either way, it’s about the client I’m working with. And I worked with women, although I do have men in my audience, too. But my focus is on coaching women. And it’s about – honestly, I’m going to call you out, ladies – it’s often about calling you out on your neuroses in dating, looking at your phone and saying, “He hasn’t texted back.”

I’m like, “Okay, that’s not really why you’re upset, though. There’s something else going on. So, let’s take a look at that. Let’s give our guy some space and some love, and make it a little easier on them. So, come to me and let’s sort this out.”

There’s a lot of taking ownership and taking our power. Because when we’re blaming and giving our power away, it’s never a good situation. That’s the work that I do.

Bob: And you call yourself a relationship pattern interrupter. I would love to know what were you doing before you started this and how did you get started as a relationship pattern interrupter.

Cheryl: I was actually a publicist for a long time. I worked in public relations for the best part of a decade. Most of that time was in corporate public relations. And then I broke away from working for the largest PR firm in Canada. I’m now based in England, but I’m half Canadian. That’s a whole other story.

I was working for the largest PR firm in the country. And I quit. I quit my job in corporate and set up my own business. And it was part coaching, part life coaching, business coaching, and part publicity. So, that really got my start in working for myself.

I took the publicity skillset with me until probably about two years ago now, coming up two years ago when I realized that my business needed to shift again. It was really three phases. It was 1, working in publicity in the corporate sector; 2, working for myself within publicity; and 3, then that work shifting into relationships, which really feels like it’s what I came here to do.

What’s so interesting, even though it might seem very different, there’s a lot of parallels between looking at the themes in a hundred media clips on transporting oil by rail, which was one of my files in public relations with lots of natural resource clients. And looking at all the themes in all these articles.

And some of the vice presidents would say, “We’ve got all this information. Can you find out what each government official thinks about this particular issue with particular taxation on this bridge? What’s their take on it?” And I would take all this information and be able to spot the themes and patterns really quickly without getting bogged down in the details.

It was something that no one else in the firm could do. And I found it really odd because it was so natural and intuitive to me. Even though publicity and relationships might seem very different, I use the same skillset I already cultivated in PR, which is something innate in me, in supporting themes and patterns with people.

So, if I’m working with a client, it would be, “Okay, you seem to have this pattern of really attaching to people. I wonder where that comes from. Let’s go back and find out what happened and see where that originates.” They seem very different. But this theme of spotting patterns seems to be something that’s been a thread throughout all my life. So, the work I’m doing now feels very natural and very organic.

Being shy won’t build your business

Bob: And as a publicist, I imagine you had some ideas on how to get the word out about your own business. Is there one publicity tip you would share with other entrepreneurs who are wanting to get started that you learned specifically from your career?

Cheryl: For sure. I’ll just place my publicity hat back on for one second. I do it now and again. The publicity hat gets dusted off and put back on. My tip would be to pitch as many people as possible and to also find their contact information because it is always there. Whether you are looking to be on a podcast or you’re looking to be in, not as much the Huffington Post now, because that’s changed a lot. But those kinds of online media spaces, just so popular. You can always find contact information.

And instead of asking someone who writes for them or has been on the podcast, “Hey, how did you do it?” Google it. What a concept. Google it. Put in search terms like contact information or podcast guests or contributing writers, and keep digging and keep finding it because it’s there. There are definitely tips and tricks in order to find the contact information, but it’s always there.

Another tip is building relationships, too, which is super obvious. But in publicity that was so important, because we might have a client who needed a certain answer from a government official, and they couldn’t get through the door. But somebody within management for the firm would have worked with that particular official for a decade and had that relationship. So, the phone call took five minutes, but the relationship took 10 years to build.

So, it certainly brought up a lot of questions on, well, how do you even bill a client for that? Because you’re not charging for five minutes. You’re charging for 10 years. But what’s the value of that? So, it was all about relationships and it’s the same now. I guess that’s the theme is relationships throughout all of this.

But my publicity tip would be to not be afraid to reach out and contact them. To find the contact information, and keep digging if you can’t find it before you ask someone. Because someone that’s been on a lot of podcasts, they’ve got a lot of media, will more than likely get a lot of people going, “How do you get published in Blankety Blank?” So, Google it before asking them. And then you can ask better questions because you’ll have more information.

And then finally build relationships with the people who you want to feature you. And not in a slimy, sleazy way, but in a human to human way. Building relationships with them, sharing back content so that when you contact them they’re like, “Who is this random person?” And instead of going, “Oh, I know you from Instagram. You share my stuff all the time. I know you. We’ve talked.” And it’s warmer. So, it’s all about relationships, really.

Bob: I love that. I like to call it a little bit of respectful social media stalking, when you follow and share and retweet and comment for just a little bit of time, and then they know who you are. That actually worked for me yesterday, as a matter of fact. At an event, I got to connect with the Vice President of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in two minutes.

Cheryl: So, you’re doing it. You know it.

Know your worth, and price accordingly

Bob: So, let’s go through a little bit of an entrepreneurial journey that you have. Not everybody has a straight line from where they start to success. I don’t actually know of anybody that does. So, I’d love to know, as you look back in the growth of your own business, what sticks out as a major obstacle or frustration you might’ve had that you had to overcome and you’re better for it, but maybe it was really tough at the time.

“Know your worth, not just in terms of the worth of your services, but your own worth. Know your worth as a person, and know the value of what you bring to the table, both in terms of who you are and your skill.”

Cheryl: That’s such a juicy question and there’s so much. I think there are two things, really. Know your worth, not just in terms of the worth of your services, but your own worth. Because as entrepreneurs, a lot of us have a personal brand rather than a company, particularly in my sector in coaching.

So, know your worth as a person, and know the value of what you bring to the table, both in terms of who you are and who you’re being and your skill set as well. So, personally and professionally know your wealth.

And the second thing would be don’t price based on what people can afford because that’s so subjective. Price based on what you deem it to be worth. So, it goes back to that PR example of if the call is five minutes, but that call actually gets someone in the door and gets the green light cleared for a $50 million project, then what is the value of that, right? They’re not paying for five minutes of your time. They’re paying for the outcome. So, what’s the outcome worth, and not exchange my time for money.

So, it’s really getting into that mindset of what’s the value and what’s the outcome, what’s the value of the outcome, and not, “I’m going to charge you such and such an hour,” because that’s not a sustainable business model. So, it’s all about knowing your worth, which is so linked to what I do as a coach, anyway. But certainly had I known that sooner, I probably would be further along than I am now four-and-a-half years in. But we live and learn, don’t we?

Bob: Yeah, we do. So, where did that show up for you? Do you remember a time where that epiphany finally hit you upside the head, but it was a lesson that you needed to learn?

Cheryl: Probably only a year ago if I’m being really, really honest. Because I moved into this area of relationship thinking, “I’ve just moved into it” when actually I’ve been doing it all along. And there were so many things that I’d been doing in my career in publicity.

When I started working in publicity, I’d also started studying personal development. So, I have my psychology friends and my therapist friends telling me that I have an honorary degree in psychology. I don’t have the degree, but I may as well have because I’ve read that many books and studied it that hard for a decade.

And really, it was about a year ago when I kept getting messages from clients saying this has changed my life. And seeing them get into beautiful relationships and seeing them with the shift, and then saying, “Wow, I charged like 100 bucks for this. This is not small. What was I thinking?”

What I would say to someone is if you feel like you’re new at something, don’t think, “I’ve only been doing it for this amount of time.” Look at other areas in your life where you’ve been already studying that or you’ve been already doing it, and that really helps you to know your worth and know your value.

Bob: Excellent.

Why are you doing this?

Bob: So, I imagine things still are hard for you at some point or another as they are with any entrepreneur. What keeps you going when things are tough?

Cheryl: Super cheesy answer, I’m afraid, but it is my Why. It’s the reason why I’m doing this. And the reason why I do this, it goes pretty deep. It’s about when these women heal the relationship stuff, the goal isn’t “let’s get you in a relationship,” although that is a side effect. But what happens if you have emotionally healthy women finding emotionally healthy men, raising emotionally healthy children in an emotionally safe environment.

Which means you have kids and teenagers who are not traumatized. Which means you have young adults going into life, into the workforce, into society, into the world, who are ready, and they don’t have to go through 10 years of therapy before. What a concept right?

So, it really changes, this is super woo woo, and this might not be the platform for it, but it really changes future generations because we’re breaking that generational cycle. Most of us learn our stuff from our parents who are trying their best, but they were kind of old school. I was born in the ’80s. My parents were born in the ’50s and ’60s. Their parents were born in the ’20s, turn of the century.

And so, times are changing. And as we can be more emotionally aware, self-aware and emotionally healthy, the children that we raise, the families that we raise are stable and safe and healthy, and they get to react and respond in a very, very different way. So, it really changes future generations. This is so much more than just finding a relationship and finding love, which is nice. It’s about being the best person you can be and really changing everyone around you.

Entrepreneurial myth busting

Bob: It sounds like you have developed quite a nice relationship with entrepreneurship compared to what you were doing back in your job. What would you say is a misconception people have about entrepreneurship that now that you have a strong relationship with it, you want to make sure people know about it?

Cheryl: Honestly, I think it’s the whole Instagram lifestyle. Get your laptop, work on the beach. Ain’t nobody working on the beach with their laptop. I’ve literally never seen that before. But we take pictures of it on Instagram because it looks cute, right?

Bob: It’s so sandy. I don’t know how you wouldn’t get your computer messed up and have to taken in for cleaning.

Cheryl: I would never dream of taking my beloved MacBook, the precious, down onto a beach where the sand and suncream and wind and all kinds of things. No way. But we see that. We see this laptop lifestyle on the Instagrams and on social media. And honestly, the people that are doing that, they’re probably about 10 years in. And certainly, the lifestyle that they’ve cultivated, they’ve worked very hard for.

“Don’t compare your experience to someone’s else’s because you’re in very, very different places.”

But I think there’s a lot of people not being honest about how many hours it took them to build that. It reminds me of the book The 4-Hour Workweek, right? It takes so many thousands of hours to build up systems and to build a team that can then run the business.

So, when people see that, and they’re maybe on year one and they’re looking at someone that’s at year 10, just know that there’s a lot of work between years two to nine and year 10 to get you to that place.

So yes, it’s possible, but don’t compare your year one to someone’s year 10 because they’re very, very different places.

Bob: Indeed they are.

List building strategies

Bob: You’re one of our users of Leadpages, of course. And I’d love to know how are you using it for your own marketing? What’s a favorite lead magnet that you are finding really good conversions with?

Cheryl: I mainly use Leadpages for my products and services. It is absolutely safe to say that I couldn’t run my business without Leadpages. Because all of my courses, all of my membership programs, my private coaching offers, all of the sales pages are built in Leadpages and I couldn’t do it without it.

I tend to use a lot of quizzes for lead magnets. And that’s not in Leadpages, so I won’t mention who that is. But I certainly use Leadpages for all of my offers, and that is really easy to use. It’s really intuitive. My assistant can build some really beautiful pages.

But I love that if I’m in a bit of a pinch and she’s in a different time zone, that the I can go in myself and create something really easily. I find it really easy to use. And it just looks very clean and very professional. And there are templates that are super easy, but you can also build the drag and drop style and already have your own style that doesn’t look like anyone else. That’s why I really love about it.

Bob: Yeah. And I love that Leadpages is not an all in one system. It’s all that you need to get yourself moving, and it plays well with others. So, actually, I would love to know what is the quiz software and membership software that you’re using where Leadpages is the front door and the sales pages for what you offer.

Cheryl: Yeah, for sure. So, on the backend, the quizzes are built in a system called Outgrow. And the course platform and membership platform I use is a Canadian company called CourseCraft. And it works. Leadpages integrates really well with all of them. I also have a booking system as well.

So, some of the buttons on my Leadpages lead to an enrollment page in CourseCraft. Some of them drop into Outgrow, a landing page on that. Some of them drop into my calendar system, which is in Acuity. So, I love that with the Leadpages buttons, I can link anything, I can link a PayPal button. It could go straight to my calendar. It’s really, really versatile. So, it integrates with all my different systems which are essential, really.

Bob: Excellent. And you mentioned quizzes as a way to build your list. What’s the coolest quiz that you have that people would be excited about taking for themselves?

Cheryl: The most popular one, and I’ve had about a thousand sign-ups now, which still blows my mind, and it happened very, very quickly, is have you met your twin flame. So, I lead people through 11 questions that are just yes or no. And it basically gives you the outcome of yes, it is, or no, it isn’t.

Another quiz I have is what’s your relationship type? And I actually developed five different archetypes. It was a very Jungian. So, the archetypes were Miss Clingy, Miss Obsessed, Miss Fancy Relationship. Like what’s your style? What’s your pattern? What’s the cycle we have to break here?

I’ll probably be developing a third quiz as well. I don’t know what that is yet. But they’re the two that I have that are really, really popular.

The “twin flame” explained

Bob: In preparing for today’s interview, I saw that you have quite a nice YouTube channel with a lot of videos, and this idea of twin flame kept popping up. Can you give folks a maybe a 25, a 30-second rundown of what a twin flame actually is?

Cheryl: Sure, yeah. I could give you a couple of hours, but I’ll try and keep it really, really brief. So, a twin flame is someone who you encounter, you’re connected at a soul level, and they are a catalyst for your growth and your evolution.

So, with that person, in the presence of this person, they’re like your mirror, and it brings up all of your stuff. So, insecurities, self-doubt, things you’re afraid of, fear of intimacy, fear of abandonment, fear of engulfment, all of these things that can coexist as well. And this person really forces you to look at that stuff, because in their presence you see yourself, and you see all the things you need to work on.

Meeting the twin flame is a very efficient way of healing, and I’m all about the efficiency. And certainly, I’ve had that experience myself. And in the space of 18 months, I did about five to 10 years of growth. So, I’m very, very grateful for that experience.

An above average day-to-day

Bob: Let’s talk a little bit about your day-to-day. Entrepreneurs in the lead generation range in what they’re doing, what’s a typical day look like for you, and how is it different from when you were a publicist?

Cheryl: That’s a great question. One of the most important things for me is I see it as bookends. It’s the start of my day and my morning routine, which is something so talked about in the entrepreneurial space. I don’t jump in ice baths or anything like that, or run up a mountain. But I do have my morning routine. And then at night, I go to the gym. The particular boot camp gym that I go to doesn’t start classes until 6:00 AM, otherwise, I love a 6:00 AM workout.

I get up at 6:00. I do my morning routine. I have my morning drink. I do my journaling. I do meditation. I really prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the day. And then work throughout the day. I have client sessions. I could be recording content. I could be doing podcasts. I seem to be doing a podcast every day at this point. Could be creating videos for the membership site, Infinite Love.

And then at the end of the day, the class I go to at the gym is 5:45, so I shut down at 5:30, which is very office hours, actually, although I do work weekends as well. Well, I like doing that because I feel like I’m working quite sociable hours and I’m not completely cutting myself off from normal functioning society. For a long time, I didn’t do that. For a long time, it was work all the time. Work 14 hours a day every day.

I’ve got it to a point where it’s a lot more balanced and it’s a lot more sustainable. And we can’t do 14, 16 hours a day forever or we’ll burn out. I really learned the hard way that I have to have that stop. And my day runs about 12 hours anyway by the time I get to the gym. But it’s really important for me to have that structure.

I think for a lot of entrepreneurs they really struggle, because when do you switch off, right? You don’t. Messages always coming through. So, it’s about having those personal boundaries for myself so that I can show up my clients who are paying for my services, and I can show up in a way where I’m fully present with them and I’m not completely burned out.

So, having a structure to my day is something that even though it sounds quite corporate and quite structured, it’s really important because I know that I’ve got this set amount of time and it forces me to be really, really organized with all of my tasks.

Trusty tools

Bob: So, as a coach and entrepreneur, you actually wear two hats. You are doing your business as a coach, and then you’re also the marketer of your business.

Cheryl: Yes.

Bob: You mentioned before some of the marketing tools that you’re using. Do you have any tools you’re using to run your business, project management wise or productivity wise that you would love to share?

Cheryl: It’s really interesting. So, I am really, really hot on project management. I’ve tried a lot of tools out there. And to be honest, this is a little bit embarrassing, but it’s the truth, I actually use Microsoft Excel for all my project management because I know how to use it. I know it like the back of my hand. And I have all my projects on different tabs. And it’s all linked. There are all the formulas. And I go through, and each project if you like, which is each product and service, usually, and I highlight them by what is revenue-driven and what is promotion driven.

I’ll have like a media tab and “okay, need to pitch these podcasts.” And I have a revenue tab, and here are the programs that we’re launching, and here are the dates, and here are the tasks. Here are the hours that each task is going to take, who’s responsible for the task. Can I outsource this, yes or no? When does it have to be done by?

And then every day, or really if I’m being really good, every night or the day before, but that doesn’t always happen, I’ll go through and say, “Okay, which tasks are due soon? What can I take on?” And then I’ll list that out for the day.

And also, because I already have the amount of time each task is going to take, I can look at it and go, “Okay, that says 12 hours, so I don’t have that much time. So, what can I focus on?” And it makes it very structured, and I get everything done because I can see the bigger picture. But I can also take out the pieces to make sure that the bigger picture comes to fruition.

It’s really this marriage of having the vision and having the big goals, but also being able to break it down and actually accomplish that. It’s all good having a vision and having the goals, but if you’re not doing the actual day-to-day tasks and managing those projects, then it’s all for nothing. So yeah, the process is solid, but the software is Microsoft Excel. It works for me, what can I say?

Bob: I love it. We still use Excel quite a bit in our project management, although we’re using some other tools, too. I’m super curious about seeing what this looks like. And I’m curious, how many rows deep do you get into a sheet before you say enough, I have to reprioritize and say no to whatever next would come up?

Cheryl: I’ve literally got it open in the background. This is going to be quite illuminating for me as well. Okay, this is actually out of control. The first page is 115 rows deep.

Bob: Excellent.

Cheryl: But it is very organized. I’m looking at it. It’s color-coded, too, because I’m super visual. It’s got all the information. It absolutely works. But if someone else was to see this, they’d be like, “What the bleep to bleep is this?” But I think the message there is, you know what, do what works for you. And if it works, then it’s cool.

Cheryl’s library

Bob: Exactly. I’m also curious about what you’re reading, what you’re learning from. And I would love to have two answers to this question. So, the first is, you mentioned that your friends gave you an honorary degree in psychology. Is there a book that you read back in the day, or maybe it’s recent, that triggers for you a memory that this is when I knew I was really meant for this sort of career and an entrepreneurial pursuit, and just transformed the way you look at life, relationships, etc.?

Cheryl: That’s such a great question. And I’m such a reader, and there’s so many. The one that springs to mind is, it’s a book that my first coach sent me. And it was not the first personal development book I read, but one of the first, it was definitely one of the first five, and that book is The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. And it covers the upper limit problem, which is huge. And there are lots of other things in there about archetypes and all other stuff.

But this concept of the upper limit was so earth-shattering to me, because unless we understand that we sabotage ourselves to a certain level, then we’re not going to grow. So yeah, that absolutely changed the game for me. And I read it. And it was just every time I was turning the page it was, “Oh, I get this. I know this.” And it felt so juicy to me.

Another one as well is Unlimited by Jillian Michaels, which is not as well known. She’s a fitness trainer, but she does a lot of psychology as well. When I read that book, I remember it was page 17. I go on a retreat, a self-imposed retreat, all on my own on the west coast of Canada, on Vancouver Island.

And I was sat there looking out onto the water, and I read this page and she said, “I was working as a publicist in the entertainment industry and I hated it, and I quit. And I set up my own business in fitness and I haven’t looked back since.” And I was like, now look where she is. She’s huge, right? She’s everywhere. I read that and I circled it. And two weeks after that I quit my job in PR. So, that was very, very poignant, that read.

And just reading about someone that I really respected who literally said, “I worked in publicity and I started to hate it,” and I’m like, “I can relate to that.” So, that had a profound impact on me as well. So yeah, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and Unlimited by Jillian Michaels.

And I love the way that Jillian Michaels writes. She writes as she speaks. It’s very direct, very masculine, but also very to the point, and it really, really helped me to shift. I must dig that out and read it again, actually. It’s a really great read.

Bob: I love those two recommendations. And I know that people really enjoyed both of those books. I’ve heard a lot about The Big Leap. Have not read it yet myself, but I know that he has transformed a lot of coaches’ lives and people who’ve read it, obviously.

So, the second version of that question is, what are you reading right now in marketing, or even fiction, that you’re just really excited about and maybe it gives you a bit of an escape or it gives you some new ideas of what you’re doing with your business?

Cheryl: It’s really interesting. I’m actually reading, this may not be familiar with a lot of the listeners, and maybe not even with yourself, Bob. It’s a little bit more woo, dare I say. But in the woo world, in the world of woo, it is one of the classics. And it’s called, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay, who was the founder of Hay House.

It’s so interesting reading it because even though it’s my first time reading it, her work influenced the lives and the hearts and the souls of so many coaches. But the coaches that I learned from were teaching her work. And so, I’ve actually already learned her work by proxy.

The way that she teaches, I’m reading this and I’m thinking, “This is how I teach people.” And it’s come from those who learned from her and I’ve learned from them. So, I’m kind of a third generation Louise Hay convert.

I’m actually reading the original material now, and it’s all about the thoughts that we have, the beliefs that we have, where they came from, which is usually when we were five or six years old and our subconscious has a very loose membrane, so we take on everything around us and don’t question it. And it’s all about retraining your brain.

So, it’s a little more woo, but there’s some really solid stuff in there about self-talk, and how to forgive, and how to let go of resentment, and all that fun stuff. So, I’m actually reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.

Bob: Excellent. Do you yourself have a podcast?

Cheryl: I do not. You are the second person this week to ask that, so that’s obviously a nudge from my higher self to say, “You might want to think about having a podcast, Cheryl. You’ve got the accent. Why would you not use it?”

Bob: It’s super popular in the U.S., for sure.

Cheryl: Yeah. I feel everyone I know has a podcast.

Bob: And you mentioned that you have been appearing on podcasts recently quite frequently. Is there a podcast that you really enjoy listening to or that you really enjoyed being on as an interviewer?

Cheryl: So many. So, recently I was on The Daily Sweat by my friend Ariana (Fotinakis). She’s a trainer from Vancouver who I know from my days in Vancouver. And also my friend Ruby Fremon. She has a podcast called Today’s Thought Leader. And I’ve been on both their shows. I know them both personally, and they’re good friends of mine.

There’s something really fun about listening to a really inspiring podcast, but it’s also your friends delivering wisdom. So, you hear their voice and it’s kind of comforting. It’s like they’re giving you a little pep talk, but it’s actually really solid wisdom and solid coaching information. So yeah, The Daily Sweat and Today’s Thought Leader.

Bob: Yeah, I feel the same about my wife’s podcast. It’s super weird to hear her.

Cheryl: Yeah, but it’s kind of nice, right?

Bob: Yeah, it’s great.

You already know the secrets to success

Bob: I think one of my last questions for you is, when it all boils down to being successful in entrepreneurship, I’m sure you have people coming to you now asking you for advice for their own entrepreneurial journey. What do you tell people is the key to success in starting up or growing a business?

“You’ve got to work hard. You’ve got to be really focused. You’ve got to be aligned. You’ve got to be very determined and resilient.”

Cheryl: The secret to success is that there isn’t a secret. There really isn’t. And I wish I could give a really fun sound bite answer to this. But unfortunately, there are lots of different things. There are lots of different factors. You certainly need to work hard. You need to be aligned with what you’re here to do as well.

For example, I could only go so far in publicity. And it felt like towards the end it was such a drain on my energy because it just was no longer aligned. Aligned is a very over-used word in coaching, of course, but it just wasn’t lined up with what I wanted anymore, to put it simply. So yeah, you’ve got to work hard. You’ve got to be really focused. You’ve got to be aligned. You’ve got to be very determined and resilient.

I personally believe there’s got to be a heart reason behind what you’re doing as well. And what I mean by that is how does this actually make a difference? How is this benefiting people? It’s okay if you just want to work in corporate, and there’s the triple bottom line and all of that, which is obviously profits than giving back to the community.

Well, for me it’s how is this actually making the lives of people better? And as a result of that, how is it making the world a better place? How is this contributing? So, I’m very contribution given. It’s one of my major driving factors to contribute.

And for me, if there was a secret sauce, that would really be the main ingredient. It’s what’s the reason why you’re doing this? Because things will get really tough. You will have mess-ups and screw-ups that will be uncomfortable and painful and embarrassing, and you’ll want to hide and you’ll want to quit. And if it’s about you, you will quit.

If it’s just like, “I want to get rich and have a big house,” that’s fine. But when you say, “Well, actually, I want to do this work because it changes people’s lives in this way and this way, and I also want to be compensated well and build a really beautiful life that feels good and looks good,” then that’s a very different energy. So you asked before, what do I do when I hit stumbling blocks. And I go back to my Why.

So, I guess really that is the crux of it. I would say to people, you need to have a strong Why, and that has to be strong for you. It might not be the same as mine, and it might not be quite as, what’s the word, focused on helping. But you have to have a strong Why, and you will go back to that when you fail. And you will fail over and over, and it won’t matter because you’ll have that why and you’ll just keep moving towards that as your north star.

Bob: I think this might be a softball question because I know the answer I would give. But how do people find their why and know that that is actually their why?

Cheryl: That is so complex. It’s so complex. For me, it was trial and error. So, when I started my business, I first went into coaching. Then I took a left turn and went back into publicity working for myself. Then I turned again, and I went into the direction of relationships. So, it’s not, like we were saying before, it’s not a straight line. So, if people are not sure what it is, like what’s my purpose? What’s my why? Keep moving towards the things that feel good, because it will feel aligned in the moment, and then a year later you’ll shift again.

It’s not like your purpose is this one thing that’s concrete and it never changes. As you evolve, it’s like the layers peel off and you reveal another layer of yourself, and you say, “I’m going to go in this direction now.” It’s almost like GPS, or satnav as we say in England. You plug in your destination, and you will get to your destination.

Let’s say the destination is Success. But you might take different turns, and don’t be afraid of those different turns. But you ultimately know where you’re going, which is “I want this purpose-filled business, I want it to support me financially, and I want freedom in my business” or whatever it might be. And I’m going there, but I might take some twists and turns along the way, so that’s what I’d say.

Bob: All right. Beautiful. Where can people connect with you to learn more from you, Cheryl?

Cheryl: You can find me on the social medias. I am @cheryljmuir on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I’m probably the most active on Instagram at the moment of those three. And you can also find me on my website, which is cherylmuir.com. And I have a YouTube channel. Just pop my name into YouTube. And I have episodes of LoveBites every Tuesday. And LoveBites is a series of bite-size wisdom on love, self-worth, and soul growth. So, I would love to see you there.

Bob: Awesome. Thank you so much, Cheryl, for all the wisdom that you shared with us today on The Lead Generation.

Cheryl: Thank you so much for having me. I’ve loved being here.

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